When I attend a wedding as a date, should I buy a gift for the bride and groom?

I am attending a wedding with my boyfriend.  I’ve become friends with the couple too, but only through him.  Do I buy a gift for the couple or pitch in on a gift with my boyfriend? Or, is he in charge?

An excuse to dress up. Good drinks. Mediocre food. Friends.  Dancing. And of course celebrating two people’s life commitment to each other. Weddings are such a fun and wonderful experience.  But, as with all major social events there is etiquette that helps guest get through the event with a bit of grace, and a few too many trips to the bar aside, dignity.

When you are attending a wedding, there are costs involved and one of these is the gift. But, the cost of the gift may not fall on you.

For a single invitation with a “plus one:”

  • If your name was the only name on the invitation, you are responsible for the gift.  Your “plus one” is attending as a gesture by the couple getting married and is not a personal relationship of theirs.  Your “plus one’s” sole responsibility is to be a supportive date of yours.
  • If you are the “plus one,” just be a good date and enjoy the wedding.

For invited couples:

  • For significant couples who do not live together, you may receive separate invitations.  If one of you are the friend of the couple getting married, it is your responsibility to provide the gift.
  • When both names are on the invitation, you will need to decide what works for your relationship and this is entirely up to you. Most likely, regardless of who pays for the gift, both names will be signed on the card.

For couples who are both friends with the couple getting married:

  • You may be lucky enough to share close friends getting married with your significant other.  When this is the case, regardless of the invitation(s) received, you may both choose to provide gifts, or purchase a gift together.

In the end, the wedding is not about gifts; it is about the celebration of two people in love. How you handle the gifts is only a small part of your relationship with the bride and groom. So, do your best in gifting the happy couple, put your best high heel forward and go enjoy the celebration.

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