How do I indicate guests of bridal shower are not invited to the wedding?

Photo Credit: Blush PrintablesHi Gwyn,

I am hosting a bridal shower for the future daughter in law of a friend. We intend to invite friends who will not be invited to the small wedding in another state.  Would you have suggested wording that I could use on the shower invitation?

As more couples choose destination weddings or opt for a small wedding, it is becoming increasingly common to host showers that include guests who are not invited to the wedding. Whether or not this is proper etiquette can be debated, but there are many reasons to accept the practice on a case by case basis. Learn when you can invite guests to a shower who aren’t included in the wedding guest list in the previous post, Can I invite guests to a Shower Who Aren’t Wedding Guests

Despite the growing trend, an invitation to a wedding event such as an engagement party, shower or bachelorette party indicates that the guest will also be invited to the wedding unless otherwise noted. It is imperative that an invitation which does not precede an invitation to the wedding clearly indicates that this is the case. This will prevent any confusion and give guests the opportunity to decline if it goes against their feelings of what is appropriate.

The note should be short, but feel free to tailor it to the tone or theme of the shower.

Small Wedding, Large Shower: [Bride] is hosting a private wedding, please help us celebrate at the bridal shower.
Destination Wedding, Local Shower: Before [Bride] departs for her destination wedding, let’s celebrate here.
Brief:  Please help us celebrate at the bridal shower in lieu of attending the wedding.
Fun: [Bride] is planning an intimate/destination wedding, but we can’t help celebrate anyway. Please join us for a shower before she goes to her big day.

The note to guests can be included at the bottom of the invitation where the typical additional invitation resides.

If you are unsure that the shower guests will pick up on your cues, feel free to include the message tastefully in a toast.

4 Responses

  1. Elisane says:

    i learned a lot here. thank you so much for your personal help.

  2. Theresa kubiak says:

    My daughter is having a destination wedding in October , I would like to have a shower for her but not sure who to invite and how to word the invitation when her AHR won’t be until the following June …. What is proper? Please help!!!

  3. Daiani says:

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