A very good friend of mine just got engaged and will be getting married next year. I was just invited to an engagement party hosted by her future in-laws, whom I have never met. I am anticipating that between now and the wedding itself, there will be multiple other events (wedding shower, bachelorette party). The wedding will be in another state, so it will require expensive travel. My question is: should I bring a gift for the engagement party, if I know there are other events in the future where gifts will be (more) expected? I am on a limited budget, and would prefer to spend a bit more money on ONE gift, than on a bunch of little things… What do you think?
Also, is there any reason to bring a small hostess gift (eg wine) for the woman who is hosting the party?
All of the events revolving around weddings are some of the most fun events we attend with friends. The stresses of figuring out what to wear, which events we can attend and yes, even monetary commitment can be dampers on the events. As much as weddings are an industry, at the heart of the celebration the original intent remains: a commitment by two individual amongst the support of family of friends.
As you commit to the slew of wedding events remember, your attendance is always the best gift you can give. The fact that you are willing and able to commit to more events than just the wedding is in and of itself a wonderful gift.
With that in mind, you are very thoughtful to consider the host and hostess. The future parents-in-law are holding an event for the guests of honor and as such the guests of honor are the only focus. If you want to bring a bottle of wine, it would be welcome but not necessary and slightly unusual.
And for the couple in the spotlight, the specific engagement event does not require a gift but traditional etiquette does imply that a card is a thoughtful and appropriate gesture. Your idea to save for one more expensive gift is thoughtful and will be appreciated. However, don’t stretch your pocket book, especially if it will but a damper on the event, future events and especially the main event the wedding.
Dig out your most bedazzled card, jot a sweet note of support and enjoy the upcoming events.