Fashionable Friday | Tech Accessories

ipad-tech-accesoryI’m not sure which is more fun, a new piece of technology or the accessories that come with it.  When you pick out an accessory for your smartphone, iphone, tablet, or ipad, you are showing off a little bit of your personality. And you should!

Be careful as you flash your personality though, much like your facebook profile, consider your tech accessories to be a public reflection of you. Personally I love Zooey Deschanel’s bunny ear iphone case on New Girl, but I would not be taken as a professional at work.  When you pick out a tech accessory, select one that reflects you, but is conservative enough for every occasion.

Tip(sy) Thursday

Flying-Etiquette-With-KidsTraveling is a stress. Add unruly or cranky children to the mix and it can be hard to keep your temper, especially when the children aren’t yours. If you are traveling and there are children causing an extra headache, take a deep breath and politely ask the stewardess or parent if there is anything you can do to help. Chances are, everyone else is feeling the impact of the children in the small space, and you will either be offering a helpful hand or gently reminding the parents to get their children under control.

What kind of wedding party can I host locally for my son’s out of town wedding?

At Home Wedding ReceptionDear Gwyn,

My son is moving to another satae and will be married in that state this fall. Prior to him moving, I wanted to have an engagement party/wedding shower for him and his bride to be. I want him to be able to celebrate wiht friends/family here who will not be able to attend the wedding in another state. I need to know how to “name” the celebration. I am worried that if I call it an engagement party instead of a wedding shower, that they will not receive any gits.  Help?

I think that it is very kind of you to think of your guests when you host a party so that they can celebrate your son’s wedding with peace of mind knowing the intention of the event.  Gifts are a grande tradition that help a couple start their life and homes together. However, we must not lose site that they are a “privilege” not a “right” of weddings. With that in mind, I will focus on the former part of your question which asks, what is the appropriate type of wedding party to celebrate my son’s wedding for guests who cannot attend the wedding?

In addition to a wedding ceremony and reception, there are three common wedding parties that surround a wedding. Each can be tailored to fit the bride and groom’s life and wishes, but at the hear they are intended to celebrate the couple in different ways.

Engagement Party: An engagement party is a wedding event intended to announce the news of a couple’s engagement and allow the couple’s parents to meet and guests to familiarize themselves with each other.

Wedding Shower or Bridal Shower: The focus of the wedding shower is traditionally to help the bride with the financial burden of a wedding, and more recently to help set up a home. Guests may select items from registry, but may also provide cash, or a gift tied to the wedding shower’s theme.

At-Home Reception: An at-home reception is typical for destination weddings. Often parents host an at-home reception as a compromise that allows a couple to have a small or destination wedding while still having the ability to invite their friends and family. An at-home reception most closely follows the outline of a traditional reception.

Based on your desire to invite friends and family who will not be able to attend the wedding, an at-home reception may be the best fit. In addition to including the event basics and, yes, a notecard with the registry information   You will of course need to be careful with the wording of your invitation as it is not traditional to host a reception prior to the wedding.

For more information on invitation wording and non-traditional wedding celebrations, please refer to the following:

How to Host a Shower before a Destination Wedding and At Home Reception

How do I invite guests requesting “ceremony only” wedding invitations?

How Do We Let Wedding Guests Know that this is the Only Event?




How do I collect addresses from my wedding guests?

Wedding Invitation AddressesDear Gwyn,

I am getting married and am starting to confirm addresses for our save the dates and wedding invitations. This is a much more time consuming process than I thought it would be and there are some people who don’t want to share their addresses. What do I do when a guest doesn’t want to share her address?

Congratulations on your engagement! Planning a wedding should be a joyful and fun time. You will of course encounter your share of stresses, but a potential guest withholding his or her address certainly does not need to be a contributing element to your stress.  It is unfortunate that the guests you want to include in your wedding celebration are making their inclusion challenging.

There are several reasons that a guest may not share his or her address.  Hopefully, none of the reasons are malicious, and your guests are excited to attend your wedding.  Use your best judgement to get a sense of your guest’s reservation and provide polite response:

  • The guest does not respond to your request for her address: It may be that your guest is not longer availabie at the phone number, email or address you are contacting him or her. Reach out again or ask a mutual friend or member of your bridal party to pass on your request.  Be sure to let your guest know why you need the address!
  • The guest does not want to give her address: Not everyone uses a traditional mailing address, or checks his or her PO Box. Explain to your guest that you’d like the best form of contact for him or her, even if it is an email address.
  • The guest does not have a mailing address: Assming that your guest knows that youare intending to send a wedding invitaiton, a guest who still refuses to provide a form of contact may not be a guest you want to keep on your guest list!

At the end of the wedding, the most important thing is your nuptials with your fiance.  If you make an effort to share this with the friends and family of your choice you’ve done your duty!

How do I tell in-laws that they may only invite a few guests to a wedding shower?

Bridal-Shower-FoodDear Gwyn,

I am getting married and my wonderful matron of honor has offered to throw me a bridal shower. After talking about what I want and the guest list, we decided that 30 people is a good number. I don’t want anything too big and really it’s what she can afford. Which of course I do not expect her to go beyond what she can afford. My mom has even offered to help pay for a few things to help out. 

Making my invite list I am at 45 people. I have had to cut out a lot of my friends and my mom’s friends, which I’m ok with. My fiancé’s side wants to invite 15 people, which is half of my guest count I’m supposed to be at. So my question is who on my fiancé’s side should be invited? My cousin said if we go a little over that’s fine, but I feel like 15 people over is a little much. So I guess I need help with who should be invited to the shower. 

Thank you!

I cannot think of any other set of events other than wedding celebrations in which friends and family of the host or guest of honor insist on including guests of their own!  Yes, you are very kind to be so thoughtful regarding sharing your shower list with your future in-laws. However, don’t forget that this is your event, which your friend is kind enough to host.

Showers are not the oldest wedding tradition, but through the years they grew their own expectations.  Showers are a means for friends and family to help a bride set up her home.  It is nice to be inclusive of the groom’s family, however, it is not necessary to be overly accomodating.

Whatever your guest number, it is important to keep the following in mind:

  • Additional Guests: Much like planning your wedding, there is a general rule that 80% of guests you invite will attend.  Of course you can adjust the formula based on your own knowledge of the guest list.
  • The Host and Guest of Honor Select the Guest List: The hostess (your friend) and Guest of Honor (you) have the say in the guest list. The two of you feel that 30 people is appropriate and therefore that is the number you should strive for. As your future in-laws are in either of the aforementioned positions, it is your decision as to how many people they may invite. It is polite and wise to share a portion. Scale this as you would the wedding guest list. Perhaps you will invite 30 guests, and share 8 with your future in-laws, or 28 and 10.
  • Be Diplomatic with Your Message: When you decide how to share a portion of your guest list, stay committed to your decision and honest with your message.  A simple, “My friend has been kind enough to host a shower.  We are hoping to celebrate with 30 friends. You are welcome to add 8 guests.” is enough. If your future in-laws push back, you are not obligated to explain further, or you may simple remind the pushy people that the uninvited guests will be able to celebrate with you at your wedding.
I sincerely hope that this is the biggest bump of your wedding planning and you are able to enjoy the rest of this joyous time!